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Augustinus the painter...

"When I finish a painting I stand back to admire it and while I'm admiring it I'm wishing I had a wife so that I could throw her through the fucking canvas headfirst."
      
YELLOW TEETH
ACRYLIC ON CANVAS WITHOUT FRAME
24 INCHES HIGH (600 millimeters)
18 INCHES WIDE (450 millimeters)
SIGNED AND DATED ONE OF A KIND ORIGINAL

CALL:  727-808-2347

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"The husband of your best friend has hung himself over the crib of their third child and you're in charge of the wake.  Of course you're having a shitload of guests over.  You've lit long aromatic candles and purchased a ham from the supermarket and the still mourning wife of the deceased has brought with her (to the wake) home-made mashed potatoes.  Additionally you've put out about a dozen signed (by the widow) poster size color photographs of the dead man hanging above the crib (police photographs, one shot even shows the child in the crib playing with her fathers hanging shoelaces) and everyone is eating and talking and just plain enjoying themselves.  They'll  probably talk about your wake for a day or two.  But, they'll talk about your wake for years when they see this painting hanging on the wall in your bathroom."
-Norm Augustinus