Monday December 03, 2007
	I Gave Her A Sweater At Christmastime.
	I have known the professional woman only a short time and she is asking me questions while we drink tea at Starbucks. I say: "I always ask for five packets of honey because the workers squeeze the honey out really fast and when they're done I've only gotten two packets worth which is what I wanted in the first place." She says: "Perhaps one day a Starbucks employee will squeeze each packet thoroughly making sure all the honey is in your cup.  What will you do then, Norm?" I say: "I'm not sure." "Interesting," she says then lifting the cup of Earl Grey to her lips.  "More and more the clerks and surrounding customers at Starbucks seem angry with my request for five packets of honey and I think it has something to do with the fact that the honeybees are disappearing," I say. She smiles and ten seconds pass and then she says: "I believe you have a propensity for paranoia, Norm." I say: "I have a propensity for paranoia?" "I think so," she says. "Interesting," I say then raising the cardboard cup to my lips. I hardly know the woman and although I have enjoyed our past telephone conversations I am not enjoying our date. When she talks spit clings to her top and bottom lip and when I talk she looks into my eyes and when I'm done talking she keeps looking into my eyes and I'm pretty sure she is expecting me to say something more (even though I have nothing more to say). NOTE: Sometimes I raise my hands and while my palms are aimed toward her I lower my head just a tad and while I'm looking at her I say, "I'm done talking, Andrea." I'm done talking but she is still looking into my eyes and it is annoying and when I can take no more I say: "I'm done talking, Andrea." She says: "Tell me the story about the sweater." "I've already told you that one," I say. She says: "Please, Norm." "I'd rather not." "C'mon," she says. I say: "I dated a woman several years and just before our relationship ended I gave her a sweater at Christmastime." "How many years?" "Three years," I say. "Did she like the sweater?" she says. "You sound like Hannibal Lecter," I say. "C'mon Norm." I say: "She wanted a ring.  I knew she wanted a ring but I gave her a sweater.  It was Christmastime and it was a big box made for a sweater and I had it wrapped and there was a red bow on it and when I gave it to her I'm pretty sure that she was thinking that there was a smaller box inside the big sweater box and she pretended to appreciate the sweater but she kept looking for the ring and I can still see (and feel) her disappointment when there was no ring and it was painful to give her the sweater and no ring but at the same time it felt good to hurt her." I'm done talking but Andrea is looking into my eyes expecting more and it makes me uncomfortable and when she looks too long I raise my hands and my palms are facing her and I lower my head just a tad and I say: "I'm done talking, Andrea." PREVIOUS   HOME   NEXT