Friday July 27, 2007
	Bath bombs and Eve.
	"Where are you baby?" she says. I say: "I'm in the bathtub." She says: "Can I come up?" I've entered every orifice on her body with my puny prick and she's blown and fingered me (with her rings on) repeatedly over a six month period but she still seems somewhat apprehensive when it comes time to approach me (when I'm naked). When she enters the bathroom I say: "Hi." She says: "I bought you a present." She's reaching into a plastic bag that has the word LUSH printed on the outside and when she finds the item she's looking for she says: "It's a bath bomb.  They call it the Sex Bomb and it contains jasmine, clary sage  and ylang ylang." It's about the size of a regulation baseball but it's missing the stitches and there's white powder all over it and while I'm looking at it she drops it into the tub. I say: "You dropped it onto my private area." She is unbuttoning her shirt and then unzipping and kicking off her pants when she says: "It dissolves like an Alka-Seltzer.  Move over, honey." "What's ylang ylang?" I say. She drops her panties to her feet and kicks them into the next room and then lowers herself into the warm soapy water and when she's in the tub she starts moving her hand about looking for the Sex Bomb. I say: "My dick is over here." "I'm looking for the bomb," she says. "I've written another greeting card," I say. She says: "I think the bomb has melted." I reach over to the miniature table alongside the tub where I've placed the glass ashtray and lighter and rough draft of my latest greeting card. She yanks the paper from my hand and says: "I'll read it." I say: "There's a huge market for a greeting card like that.  Give it a chance before you shoot it down." She takes a deep breath, exhales, smiles, splashes Sex Bomb laced water into my eyes, laughs and then using her good feminine voice reads aloud: Happy birthday.  Some time ago your mother or father or some man or woman you never met were naked and sweating and in the dark and they were pushing their fingers and tongues into each others holes and spit was being swallowed and sounds were being made. When they decided the time was right the man shoved his prick into the vagina of your mom or into the woman that you never met and at a certain point this man blew his load and there was an egg in there and now everyone is blessed by the specialness and uniqueness of you. Rejoice.  It is your birthday. My bathtub partner inhales and then after a long drawn out exhalation of whatever it was that she initially inhaled she says: "I get worried that maybe I'm spending time with the wrong person when I read your work." I say: "Huh?" "Pass me the shampoo," she says.  PREVIOUS   HOME   NEXT