Saturday January 27, 2007
     
  My self-adjusting, weight activated birdhouse (fat birds get a bigger diameter hole, thin birds get a smaller diameter hole).  
     
 




She rings the doorbell and when I open the front door she says:

"How are you Norm?"

I've been working on a birdhouse in the garage and I'd like to get back to working on it but she's good to look at so I say:

"It's good to see you, Emma."

She says: 

"Are you busy?"

I can smell her perfume and her hair looks freshly washed and I like the way she's applied black eye shadow and black eye liner around her blue eyes so without hesitation I say:

"Come in."   

She says:

"Whatcha doing?" 

We've dated on and off and I like her just fine but she wants more.

I say:

"I'm working on another invention."

She says:

"Another invention?"

Emma always seems genuinely interested in whatever it is I'm taking about.

I say: 

"Let me show you." 

On the way to the garage she says:  

"Wanna get something to eat?"

Secretly and to myself I'm thinking:

That was nice.  She's asked me to go out with her to get something to eat.  That was real nice.  Sometimes I can become obsessed on whatever it is I'm working on and more often than not I'll go an entire day without eating.          

I say:

"I'd love to get something to eat."

When I pull open the door to the garage she says:

"It's good to see you, Norm."

She's got full red lips and brown hair that stops just short of touching her good ass and after a pause (like something right out of a romantic comedy) I say:
 
"It good to see you, Emma."

She says:

"Now where's this invention?"

I feel better than I did before she stopped over and when she seats herself atop a wooden stool near my work table I do my best Steve Jobs imitation:

"I've designed a birdhouse with a self-adjusting hole.  It's basically a one-size-fits-all birdhouse designed to accommodate any bird."

She says:

"Bravo!"

I continue my pitch:

"When the perch is pushed down the hole gets bigger.  When the perch goes up the hole gets smaller.  It works using the weight of the bird.  Big birds weigh more than little birds. When the mommy bird steps on the perch she'll get a custom sized hole made just for her body size."

Emma is clapping now and while she's clapping she's moving her head from side to side and that's when she says:

"Brilliant."


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