Thursday November 30, 2006
	She was working on a film for class and I nearly burned to death while she taped me.
	"Put this dress and hat on," she says.  Her name is Candice and she's a film student in Florida. "Put this dress on?" I say. "This hat and scarf too," she says. She is working on a comical video sketch regarding hypnosis and the idea is for me to look like an ugly elderly woman.    "I'll put the audio in later," she says.  "For now just sit there and watch the shiny object move back and forth." Secretly and to myself I'm thinking: This is great.  Candice is good to look at and she's got good female hands and I like her perfume and I don't have to do anything except sit and watch something shiny move about.  Maybe afterward as a sort of payment she'll ball me.  That would be nice.  She'll have the shots she wants in the can and we'll watch them on the monitor and while we're watching them on the monitor she'll glance over at me and notice that my lip is trembling and without even realizing it her lip will start trembling too and before we know it we'll be porking one another in the trunk of my Cadillac.  It's the holiday season, Christmas is coming and I'll be in the trunk of my car blowing my load.  Jesus it's good to be an American.  The opportunities are endless and on every corner.  While she's setting things up why not sing a song to yourself?  Yeah, a song.   Sing it Norm:  Christmastime is here... Pleasure is near. Pull your dick out, it's like a pig snout... In the trunk of Caddy, I'll be your daddy... In and out, a sexual love bout. She says:   "Sit here and pretend to be hypnotized." I say: "Pretend to be hypnotized?"   "Follow with your eyes the little watch on the end of the chain and then when you feel like it go unconscious," she says.   I say:   "Like you've hypnotized me?" She says: "Like I've hypnotized you."      She is applying lipstick to my lips and while she is applying it I ask if it would be okay if the elderly hypnotized woman smoked. "I'd rather she didn't but I guess it might add something," she says. I've just lit a cigarette and an ashtray is resting on my lap and I'm sitting and the chain and watch thing appears and then it starts moving back and forth and while it's moving she says: "We're rolling." Maybe thirty seconds into the shot I pretend to be hypnotized and my head drops back and when it does the cigarette falls out of my mouth and onto the 100 percent polyester dress and almost immediately the dress ignites and bursts into flames.  By the time I remove the dress I have first degree burns on my chest and second and third degree burns on my left hand.  Additionally a good amount of hair on my head has been burnt off as has hair on my eyelids and eyebrows. I believe she may have humped me out of sympathy afterward but the pain (it took six hours and buckets of ice 'til the burned areas stopped burning) and blisters and stink of my freshly charred flesh was just too distracting. Christmastime is here... Pleasure is near. Pull your dick out, it's like a pig snout... In the trunk of my Caddy, I'll be your daddy... In and out, a sexual love bout. PREVIOUS   HOME   NEXT