| |
Chain of Fools by
Aretha Franklin is coming out of the speakers and there are lit candles
and even incense burning.
"Eat it Norman," she says. "Eat it off me."
"Eat it off you?" I say.
"It's a candy g-string," she says. "I got it at Spencer's at the
mall."
She's moving her hips up and down (and sideways too) and she's smiling
and I'm standing at the furthest end of the bed (in my underwear) and
I'm f-ckin' scared.
"You got it at Spencer's?" I say then reaching into my pants pocket
(lying on the floor).
"Yep," she says. "There's a pair for you too."
"A pair for me?" I say then lighting the cigarette lighter gotten from
my pants pocket.
"Uh huh," she says.
"I'm not gonna wear candy underwear," I say. "Hope you're not
disappointed."
"That's okay baby," she says.
I like it when a woman calls me baby though I've never been
comfortable with using the word myself (I'm very comfortable, skilled
even, with using words like bitch and whore though).
"I wanna get a better look," I say.
The smoke coming from the Ronson cigarette lighter smells good and the flame sheds
just enough light (on her edible g-string) for me to say:
"Looks like the candy I ate as a kid."
"Come on Norm," she says.
"Candy necklaces," I say then snapping the lid on the lighter
shut. "When I was a kid I ate lots of candy necklaces."
"Eat it off me Norm," she says.
I say:
"Where should I start?"
Her hips aren't moving up and down (or even sideways) anymore and now
her eyes are open and she's lifted her head and she's looking at me and
while she's looking at me she says:
"Let your passion guide you. Just go with it Norm.
Let go. I'm yours. Go nuts. Nothing in the world
matters right now. Not Iran or North Korea or even Iraq.
Smell the incense, enjoy the flickering candle, take in the music and
love me."
After a pause I say:
"The Bush administration is pressuring Google for private records with
regards to what Americans are searching for. Could you include
that in what you just said a second ago?"
She says:
"Nothing in the world matters right now. Not Iran or North Korea,
Iraq or even George Bush wanting to know what Americans are Googling.
Now eat off my f-cking panties."
I really don't want to eat her candy g-string. I understand that
it's supposed to be romantic and sexy and erotic but I'd prefer not to
eat candy panties wet with a raw cocktail of vaginal fluids and a
melting Encare Oval vaginal spermicidal insert.
"I thought you'd love these things," she says.
After a pause
I say:
"Would you mind if I called you another persons name while I'm eating
off your panties?"
After a pause she says:
"Another girl?"
"Would that be alright?" I say.
"Knock yourself out," she says then restarting the Aretha Franklin CD
using her wireless remote.
PREVIOUS
HOME
NEXT |
|