Tuesday March 16, 2004
	The first day of spring is important to my grandmother and I am invited to her annual spring day celebration at her home in Miami Beach, Florida.
	"Hello grandmother," I say then kissing her cheek. "Did you bring it?" says grandma.  The it is a 14 ounce (392 grams) can of McClintock Full Flavor cigarette tobacco and one box (100 booklets in a box) of Black Death rolling papers.   "Tobacco and papers," I say. "I love you grandma."  My date is smiling wanting to fit in and when my grandmother drops the lid off the can of tobacco she picks it up and says: "It smells good."  My grandmother has rolled her own cigarettes for over fifty years and she is rolling one while my date and I stand at her front door.  Her big hands and thick fingers work like they're attached to a much younger person and with a lick of her fat tongue she has finished making her cigarette. "Light me," says grandma.  My grandmother celebrates the first day of spring by serving guests Royal Riviera Pears mail ordered from Harry and David.  In addition to the pears there are always apricots and Folgers percolated coffee.  This year she has made a deep dish pumpkin pie and grandmother says we will each get a slice after the planting. "What are we planting this year?" says my mother to my grandmother.  My mother has brought along a friend and sitting across from the two of them is the elderly woman who lives across the street.    Every March 20th grandmother asks that her guests plant flowers (annuals) into her small backyard garden. "I've got petunias and geraniums and even zinnias," says grandmother then exhaling the McClintock Full Flavor tobacco smoke from her lungs. "Why doesn't she talk after she exhales?" says my date to me making sure only I can hear. "I don't know," I say. "Do you have any plans for St. Patrick's Day?" says my mother.  She is looking at me and then she is looking at my date and then back at me. "Green beer," I say. "I once balled an Irishman," says a woman from behind the closed bathroom door.    "Was that Sandy?" I say then standing. "Your sister is freshening up with her new friend," says my mother.  I am standing with my ear pressed against the bathroom door when I say: "Freshening up?  They're doing it.  It's our annual spring day planting and they're doing it only a few feet away from our Harry and David Royal Riviera Pears." "You sonofabitch," says my grandmother then throwing her lit hand rolled cigarette at me. "C'mon Norm," says my date. "Norman," says my mother. "My Lord," says the elderly woman who lives across the street. The friend of my mother is asleep and has been asleep since my arrival but he wakes and when he does he says: "All the women I've ever made love to are all dead from old age." My sister Sandy attends all our family gatherings, though, I have not personally seen her.  I have however, talked to her through closed and locked bathroom doors where she can usually be found freshening up with her newest friend. PREVIOUS   HOME   NEXT